Wednesday, April 29, 2009

#1 Thing Not to Say to Someone Who is Hurting

I find it interesting that the #1 response that people give you when you are hurting is "Call me if you need anything." I am here to tell you that if you truly want to help that person, this is the #1 worst response that you can give.

Let me explain. You learn very quickly who truly wants to help you and those who want to make themselves feel better. People who truly want to help will actually do something. Those who don't really want to be bothered by it all will give the "call me" response. Instead of keeping the ball in their court, they throw it at you and want you to do something with it. The guilt is off them because they no longer hold the ball.

The problem with this is that when you are grieving, you can't handle many "balls in your court". What you need is for people to take balls from you not add. The things that people can do are the little things in life that don't matter but still need to be done - housework, meals, lawn work, etc. I am here to tell you - grieving people do not call people just because they said "call me".

The next time that you are tempted to say "call me if you need something" - don't. Pray that God will lead you to know what needs to be done. Ask people you know who have been in the same circumstances of things that would be a blessing. Keep the ball in your court, get creative, and seriously help.

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