Thursday, February 11, 2010

Excerpt: So Long Insecurity

April will be the 10 year anniversary of my sister's death.  Healing has occurred slowly but surely.  I remember wondering if the pit in my stomach would ever stop aching.  Though the pit is still there, God has blanketed it with a peace and love that is indescribable. 

In my healing process, God continues to use people, sermons at church, and books (including scripture) to help me made "sense" of my Interrupted Expectations and my omniscient God. 

Beth Moore's So Long, Insecurity: You've Been a Bad Friend to Us is the latest book.

So Long, Insecurity: You've Been a Bad Friend to Us

As I have blogged so many times, I still struggle with "what next".  My fears.  I hurt deeply once.  Will God allow me to hurt again?

Beth Moore revisits a similar inner turmoil.  While in prayer with God, she heard this (quotes from her book in italics):
Child, tell Me your worst fears.
Well, I can answer that one.  Pain.  Pain like no other.  Lose.  Lose that strips you of life as you know it.
Let's say those things happened.
Be still my heart. 
Picture yourself going through the whole process of one of your worst fears becoming a reality.  Get all the way to the other side of it.  What do you see then?...Okay, you did a good job thinking up something terrible.  What then?
Wow...I would be right where I am now.  Growing, changing, and hopefully encouraging others.  All along, God has been with me holding my hand (carrying me through the roughest waters). 
It was as if He said, "As long as you're going to borrow trouble on the future, why don't you just go ahead and borrow the grace to go with it and see yourself back up on your feet defying your enemy's odds...just as you and I have done a dozen other times."
Another level of healing...

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